Simple; like a smoothed stone or the veins of a leaf.
Stories of tumultuous tumbles and energetic exchanges of existence to become what they are witnessed to be. Those who understand the simplicity held within a rock or a leaf, understand ‘me’.
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It is the third time since arriving in this country that I’ve been called semplice, simple. I understood that those who called me this imparted the word unto me with esteem. Yet, there was a part of me that had a difficult time receiving this word: from one cultural context, my ego disliked and struggled with the English association of simple person: ‘simple minded’- since I’ve always felt to be anything but simple in the mind. Yet, as more semplice has been generously bestowed upon me, I’m stepping into this equally as a true facet of my identity and culture, and out of identification with the word. My dress is simple, my hairstyle is simple, my outward appearance is...typically simple.
Yet, the trigger here goes deeper. I am simple, therefore I am uninteresting, dull. Feelings of scorn and rejection and being the black sheep, the “keep your enemies closer” of the group….the scapegoat to allow a popolo di pecore from having to look inward at themselves- or perhaps fear that they might be next in the chain of scorn. “Too simple to fit in, and therefore unworthy of love...destined to abandonment, designed for solitude”. And yet- here I am, with friends and family who love and accept me, still.
Yet, ultimately, I am alone. I was born alone, I will die alone, and I live much of my days alone. And, I have found in this aloneness I am often not lonely. I experience more loneliness in a group of familiar strangers than in the company of myself and my ever-complex imagination, frequently.
The greatest friends (the greatest loves) I have come to surround myself with are those who know how to be alone with me, in presence. Our singleness allows for connection, in our coming together and sharing this singleness. There is no forced joining, there is no comparison, confrontation, or exclusion that doesn’t- in time- accept itself as a reflection of the self, versus a contagious disease on the other: the large black spider to track in the corner of the room with one open eye.
A rock, or a leaf...these have taught me much: to many- they too are ‘simple’. Yet, to me, they have held my wide-eyed attention since I knew to hold them in my yet undexterous fingers. They have always held the same complexity to me as the conception of the entire cosmos. The grooves, colors and sediment in a rock: testaments of where they came from and what they have endured (the collections, pressures, jostleings). A leaf: it’s veins that outline a structure- the same structure that provides food and fire to every cell in their outwardly expanding, sun reaching bodies. Objects and creations in states of existence. Simple existence. They hold my affection and love from within the bind of my senses: my gaze, my touch, my wonder.
Fortunately for me, the people I wish to play with in life know of these easily overlooked ‘simplicities’. In those sensitive enough to recognize and get excited by the complexities of a rock are those who I recognize security in: those who know what it is like to be alone- captivated by their own sense of wonder, and therefore ‘won't misconstrued me’ in my loneliness. Even in my simplicity, my complexities that exist within: without needing to be flaunted, explicitly shared, or spoken, are understood and comprehend- as if by magic.
In this way, sharing transforms into an intrinsic act of connection. Abundance in giving, without expecting to be received:
“I am large, I contain multitudes” (whitman) To call myself only simple denies me of my complexity.
To call myself only complex denies me of my simplicity. “the beauty of a flower” (feynman)
I’ve found myself in anything that intrinsically, simultaneously embodies minimalisms and maximalisms. It is the nature of things. The over-abundant nature of entropy to find ways to take what is within reach and create concision:
DNA
Cities
Microprocessors
Planets
Evolution, perhaps, might have arisen less out of a need to survive- but as a way to adapt to the chaotic energy of the universe. The stardust we come from is chaotic: it is everywhere. When the abundance of it was enough to fill the space of a mineral, it arranged itself as a mineral. When the excess of stardust seeping in filled all the mineral space, it arranged into a microbe. The microbes took their space, and needed a new structure to hold, process and digest their energy: plants. Animals. Dinosaurs. Fungi. Mammals. Apes. Homo erectus. Homo sapiens. Homo ludens who goes beyond thought, and uses it to consciously create: to play…Evolution is the story of how we’ve come witness the organization of energy. Hunter gatherers, forgers, agricultures. Herbivores, omnivores, carnivores: carnivores take the energy of a lower-energy creature and process it through their complex system of digestion: a transfiguration or transmutation of energy. Tribes, settlements, villages, towns...our morals, ethics, laws, religions, spiritualities. Politics, travel, expansion, wars: they are all ways of trying to condense complexity into structures such that we can make space for the new incoming chaotic influx of entropic energy.
Perhaps climate change and viruses follow similarly unfolding patterns. It can be like watching water boil. As space is stationary, time expands. While time is fixed, every moment in space evolves (double slit experiment? t = 1/f?). With the 101 Lightborne Elite and Daoists taking dual western vs eastern approaches to this paradox (newsom and tzu, respectively)
Our digital technologies are an extension of this forceful tendency to waltz towards chaotic simplification > outsource the energy that needs outsourcing: for more is coming our way. Or perhaps, simply embrace it as it passes through…
Change is fine...it is our nature. We are born of change, for change is proof of energy. Proof of stardust in all things.
And here we can quickly digress and delve into panpsychism and qualia and all that good stuff...so I think I will put this streamed thought to rest for the time being and just sit still.
Possible related stem research:
Thermodynamics >> conservation of energy
Quantum >> concurrent dualities
Cosmology >> black holes & supernovas